Tutelary
by lilychaos
Summary: Unohana Retsu's life was changed when she meets the head of the Yamamoto clan and becomes his student. This is the story of how she went from a noble girl to the head of fourth division and second oldest captain.
1. Chapter 1

Retsu sat among the irises by the pond at her family's estate, trailing her hand idly through the water as she watched the koi swim around in the pond below. They were beautiful animals, so graceful, so simple. So content. She sighed softly as she watched one glide around a water lily and then disappear back into the deep water. _"Many men fear drowning," _her mother once said, _"but fish do not. Do not be afraid of difficulties, and they will trouble you as little as water troubles the koi in our pond."_

Easier said than done, Retsu thought. But then, her mother had mastered the art of serenity long ago. She was the matron of their family and of the clan, since her father died a few years ago. She could command strong men to silence with a single look, and on top of that, she was considered a great beauty. Sometimes, Retsu wasn't sure she could ever be like her mother. "She's perfect," she confided to the koi.

"Truly a blessed fish to be graced with a compliment from an honorable lady such as yourself," Shin said from behind her. Retsu turned to look at her twin, who stood with his arms crossed over his chest and one slender eyebrow raised towards his hairline. He regarded his young sister with a fond smile and sat down next to her with a careless grace that belied his long limbs. "But what will the other koi think, to be swimming without similar blessings from you?" he asked.

"I imagine they will all be too busy vying for _your_ attention, each begging you to favor him over his rivals," she said with a similar smile—light irony mocking those who tried to ingratiate themselves into her brother's good graces, hoping to be favored when he was the head of the clan. "And did you enjoy sitting in on the morning's negotiations?" Her mother was presiding over a meeting to discuss a border issue between the Omaeda and Kyouraku clan.

Shin frowned and stared down at the fish flickering to and fro in the pond. He dangled his fingers just at the surface and watched a red and white koi nibble them lightly. "I think I would have had more sincere offers from the koi," he said softly. "Each of them so clever and earnest, thinking he had the perfect offer or argument for our clan's support and all of them full of empty words."

"I believe Mother would say, _'Better empty words in the meeting room than a sword at the gate,'_" Retsu said. But she understood, as well. She might not be the heir, but her influence would not be inconsiderable when she was an adult. And men of all ages were already trying to win her heart or persuade her to use her influence over her brother or mother. "But the advantage of the fish, nii-san, is that they cannot talk."

"A sword at the gate can be more easily turned away," Shin said and sighed. "It can be dismissed, attacked, or persuaded. Those with their empty words and hollow promises..." His thin brows drew together and a frown creased his face. "I cannot disregard them as easily, honored sister."

Retsu frowned slightly herself, seeing how tired he looked and dipped her hand into the water again. "Perhaps," she said meditatively, "Or perhaps, honored brother, they were drawn in by the fact that you look so terribly serious." And she splashed water at him with an impish grin. They were alone, after all—and her brother had changed out of his best clothes.

Water dripped off his chin and ruined the effect of whatever scowl he might have been able to muster in response. For a moment, he held himself in regal posture, every bit the eldest son of a noble family suffering indulgently through the antics of a younger sibling. Then he flashed a grin at her and flung a scoop of water right back at her, sending the koi scattering in a glitter of gold and silver beneath the water. She squealed in a very unladylike fashion as the cold water soaked the front of her kimono, before splashing several more scoops of water right back at him with a giggle, the water flashing brightly in the autumn sunlight. She'd probably be quite cold in a while, but for now she would just enjoy this.

There were few people either of them could enjoy such freedom with, the simple gift of play and laughter and cherished company. Shin grinned and flung water right back. Leaves clung to his clothing and sand under his fingernails. For her part, Retsu had leaves sticking in her hair, and her muddy kimono was clinging to her body in a most undignified way. For a moment, it was all dirt and laughter and she wouldn't have traded a moment of it for anything—she didn't get to see nearly as much of her twin as she would have liked. Truth to be told, she missed him, even if he could be an idiot sometimes.

Sitting back, Shin said, "I promise the next time I must put up with people trying to buy my favor, I'll make them come sit next to you at the pond. The one to remain the cleanest, of course, loses." He grinned openly at her and reached over to pluck a leaf from her hair. "Although the koi might not appreciate such a tactic, I'm certain."

She smiled to see him relaxing and laughed, picking a dangling bit of vine from his shoulder. "Ah, that's hardly fair to me, making me deal with them all. Besides, mud or not, they'd all be falling all over themselves, trying to make me fall in love with them. Listening to bad romantic poetry...you have the much easier role, nii-san."

"I've had more of those offers than you'd think..." Shin muttered under his breath. He shivered slightly, probably from the spring cool and his damp clothing, but he remained where he was, staring up at bright blue sky. "I get so tired of it, Retsu," he said softly. "So many empty words and I can feel my own hollowing out the more I repeat them." He looked at her and smiled, a soft, sad sort of thing that looked out of place on his face. "This is... this is real to me in a way all the meetings and noble families will never be."

Retsu shifted closer to him and wrapped her arms and her reiatsu around her twin, despite the fact that they were both soaked. She could feel his warmth, his bright reiatsu that was like and unlike hers, and hear his heartbeat. "I know, nii-san," she said quietly. She loathed it, too—the false smiles and attempts to win her over, not for herself, but for her position.

She felt him shiver as though her embrace had grown unfamiliar to him, but she felt some of the stress melt from his back and his shoulders. "Someday," he promised, "you will not have to hear such words, little sister. Someday you will find those you can trust and the rest you'll be able to silence with a look."

Retsu chuckled softly, hardly able to imagine herself with her mother's quelling glance, but pleased she was still able to calm her brother. She missed her twin, she so rarely got to spend much time with him outside of clan functions. And that wasn't _really_ spending time with him. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," she teased. "If you were as powerful as the sun, you couldn't stop fools from chattering any more than you can silence the magpie." She shifted away from her brother and shivered a little at the loss of the heat. It was a little cold out to be in wet clothes.

"As long as they do the chattering away from me and where I can't hear it, I might be satisfied with that alone." It wasn't quite a sulk, but a tiny frown crossed his face. "I wonder what it would have been like to have been born to a minor noble family. None of these responsibilities or expectations, just carry on the work of our parents, marry some pleasant-faced girl, and carry on with the next generation."

"About the same, on a smaller scale, I'd imagine," she said, poking him slightly in the ribs. "Why, has some 'pleasant-faced girl' caught your eye, Shin-nii-san?" she teased.

"I can't allow myself the luxury," Shin admitted with a sigh. "It would be... nice, however."

"Mm," Retsu said noncommittally. Their mother wouldn't marry either of them to someone they couldn't stand, but it was hardly likely that either of their marriages would be anything other than a political match. It was just the way of things. She continued in a more serious voice. "There's talk that Yamamoto-sama himself came to speak with mother. What's he like?" The great Yamamoto clan leader was legendary; it was said he fought with the strength of a hundred men.

Shin drew himself into a proper seiza as though even distant mention of Yamamoto's name demanded respect. "He is a... remarkable man. Direct, blunt, but not quite curt. He'll listen and carefully consider anything that's brought before him with at least a modicum of respect and intelligence, but ultimately he makes his own decisions. I must admit I envy him that."

"He must be a powerful man," Retsu said. She glanced down at the koi, which had apparently decided that the annoying humans were finished splashing around in their home, and had resumed their stately glide around the edge of the water. "But is he a good one?" They both knew that power and goodness weren't always the same; their father had died to defend their lands from a powerful enemy, after all.

"He is a strange one, of that there is no doubt." Shin frowned slightly in thought and bowed his head. "Someone from Rukongai demanded an audience with him right on the street. Yamamoto dismissed the guards before they could move. He... listened to him. To everything he had to say." Shin looked over at his sister in open confusion. "He gave that insolent man as much consideration as he would have given a full-blooded noble that had gone through months of protocol to secure the same few minutes of Yamamoto-sama's time." A faint smile twitched at his lips. "I find that... oddly refreshing."

"Indeed," Retsu said, weighing the story in her mind. Her mother was known to hold audiences where even those from Rukongai could lay their cases before her, but it was quite unusual among the clans. And although the Unohana clan was a Great Clan, there was little doubt that Yamamoto-sama had far more stature, both personally and on behalf of his family. "I wonder why he wanted to speak to Mother."

"I haven't the faintest idea," Shin admitted. "I dropped hint after hint that I was curious and she just gave me the same secret smile she gives everyone else who isn't getting an answer." He frowned, and Retsu suspected she understood why. For all the training and formalities he was going through to someday be head of their clan, there simply remained some things their mother wouldn't trust him with. Given how hard her brother worked to be worthy, it probably rankled when she kept him out of important matters. Still, if their mother hadn't told Shin what was going on, it was probably either important or secret. Perhaps some new negotiation that Yamamoto-sama didn't want known?

Out loud, she simply said, "Hm, that is strange." Anything further she might have said was interrupted by the arrival of one of the household servants, Okada Chika.

Okada bowed and said, "Retsu-sama, if you please—" there was a momentary pause in Okada's formal speech when she looked up and saw her lady's current state of dress. "Please come with me, your mother wishes to speak with you." There was another faint pause and a smile twitched on her face. "I'll lay out a fresh kimono for you," she said simply, and bowing, she turned away to rush back into the house.

Shin looked over at his sister and grinned. "Well. I think you rattled her a tad."

"I think you're right," Retsu agreed. "If you'll excuse me, oh honored and muddy nii-san." She made an exaggerated bow to him before heading back to her room to get cleaned up. Once there, she changed out of her clothes and let Okada help her into the clean kimono as Retsu brushed her hair. "Do you know what Mother wants?" she asked the servant.

"A man has spoken with her and wishes to speak with you, now," Okada said with a faint quirk of her eyebrow. "A very honorable man from a long family line." While not a noble herself outside of her service to them, Okada still occasionally teased Retsu and Shin—she'd been with them since they were babies. "But I confess, I haven't the faintest idea what they might wish to discuss with you, Retsu-sama."

"I see. Thank you." She finished getting ready and did a last check. If someone outside the family wanted to see her, she should look her best. Surely it wasn't an offer of marriage already. She knew people had asked, but Mother had said she was too young still for that... "Where does Mother wish me to meet her?" she asked.

"In the western sitting room," Okada said. She bowed her head and bit her lip, as if deliberating about something. It was another moment before she dared speak. "The guest she has with her... Wishes to speak with you, Retsu-sama."

Retsu stopped short. With her? She wasn't even of full age, and a proposal of marriage would be mediated through her family, not through her personally. She couldn't imagine what on earth anyone outside her family would want to discuss with her, let alone a man of high position. "Thank you for telling me, Okada," she said. "I will go at once."

It was hard not to either run or drag her heels as she walked toward the sitting room. Still, she forced herself to walk moderately and properly. Who was it? Who would want to see her, rather than her brother or mother? As she approached the room, she couldn't help slowing down. The air seemed...heavier around the door. Almost hard to walk through. But she pushed through it, approached, and knocked nonetheless.

"Please, come in," her mother said from inside. Retsu took a deep breath and went in. Her mother sat in simple elegance, every line of her robe and hair precise and measured. On anyone else it might have looked artificial, but her own self-aware grace made it a work of art in a way Retsu couldn't hope to match.

A man set apart from them, broad shouldered and ancient in the manner of a well-used sword. He regarded Retsu with a single lift of his eyebrow before settling back into a calm, near nap-like state. "Hello, young one."

She bowed first to her mother and then deeply to the man, unsure who he was, but certain he was worthy of deep respect. The way he carried herself told her that. _Could this be Yamamoto-sama?_ she wondered suddenly, and her mouth almost fell open. The age and the power indicated it—and few other men would appear to nap in front of her mother. "G-good afternoon, Yamamoto-sama," she said, bowing again. Why would he want to talk to her personally? Surely he had many other things to do with his time.

Unohana Shiori rose to her feet in a single graceful motion and bowed slightly to her daughter and lower to Yamamoto. "Please forgive me for not following traditional protocol." She favored Yamamoto with a faint smile. "But I understand you prefer more direct discussion over courtly politics, Yamamoto-sama, so I will leave the two of you to speak in peace."

Yamamoto inclined his head in what might have been a nod or simply bowing his head in thought. Shiori, however, returned it with a brighter smile, like one sharing silent humor with another. For her part, Retsu had simply kept her eyes downcast as they talked, and waited in silence as her mother and Yamamoto exchanged pleasantries. It was a strange exchange, but the idea that he'd want t to talk about her was even stranger. What did he want?

"Retsu." Yamamoto's voice was slow and deep when he addressed her again. "I have something to discuss with you. An offer of sorts." His gaze flicked lazily to Shiori and she shared another one of her soft, secret smiles with Yamamoto before turning to her daughter.

"Yamamoto-sama and I have already discussed this proposal." She ducked her head. "But I will respect your decision, Retsu, whatever it is." With no other word or comment, she turned neatly and left the room in silence.

Retsu nodded to indicate that she understood before turning back to the ancient warrior. "What is it you wish to ask me, Yamamoto-sama?" she asked politely. She really had no idea what in the world he could want to discuss with _her_, of all people.

Yamamoto regarded her with a long, measuring look as though he could peer down past her current abilities and to whatever potential might linger beneath. "These are very troubled times with too many people wasting time fighting amongst themselves," he said in a deep rumble. "We all turn our backs on a common enemy and pretend they do not see us as well."

Retsu nodded respectfully, "Yes, my Lord," she agreed. But there was a quiet note of sincerity, too—her own father had been killed in at territorial dispute. Her mother's work, and the work her brother would do after her, would help keep the peace. But what would she...oh dear. Perhaps this was a marriage proposal after all. But her clan wasn't at war with anyone, let alone the Yamamoto, so how could she be of service?

"Are you satisfied with this life? With how you may serve your family some day?" he asked her.

She blinked and looked down, forcing herself not to toy with her kimono sleeves. It wasn't ladylike. In truth, she wasn't, but that was hardly the kind of thing that one said to the head of another clan. Nor did one lie to Yamamoto-sama. "I have been raised to live this life, and trained to fulfill my duties to my family as the clan leaders command," she hedged.

"That is not an answer, that is an evasion," he said in a displeased rumble. "There is no need to spare my feelings or play at being polite. I have no desire to waste my time or that of your family. Are you satisfied in how you can serve your family?"

She felt a deep blush spread over her face at the reprimand. "No, sir," she answered simply. It was the way of things, and she'd been raised to do her duties. She didn't know what other option there could be. But no, in her heart, it wasn't what she really wanted.

"Explain. What makes you so dissatisfied?" He raised a hand as though to wave off any questions or protests she might have had to that question. "I know you would serve quietly and faithfully. I do not question your loyalty to your family or your duties. But if given a choice... how would you perform them?"

"I am not quite sure, Yamamoto-sama," she said honestly. "I...I think that it is very difficult to make things better because in the clans, leaders are so surrounded by liars that they do not know how to see the truth. I think that even those who wish to change things are surrounded by others who want things to say the same for the sake of their own selfish reasons. I feel there must be some better way, but I am afraid I cannot see it. Sir," she added belatedly.

Yamamoto's only response at first was a silent stare. Then his lips twitched in a faint smile and a low noise almost like a chuckle echoed in the small room. "Very good, Retsu." He leaned forward, one hand braced on his knee. That simple motion was the most movement he had made since Retsu entered the room. "What of acting outside the noble families?"

She was afraid at first that she'd given offense, so she was relieved when he chuckled—and it seemed more like a pleased chuckle than a patronizing chuckle. She paused again to consider what he said. "Outside the clans, Yamamoto-sama? But those in the nobility have all the power, so I am not sure how one could accomplish anything outside of the clans," she said.

"A power forged of the clans and of Rukongai and wielded to protect both," Yamamoto said slowly. "I have spoken with several who might help create such power." He regarded her with a clear, frank gaze. "It will be no small thing to agree to and could cost you your formal status in your family." A faint smile twitched at his mouth. "But it would not be without its own status."

It sounded like an incredible idea. Yet, she couldn't agree to it instantly. She was leery of those who claimed to want power so they could protect others—it was often a disguise for wanting power for one's own ends. "What would be the basis of this power, Yamamoto-sama, and how would it protect others?" she asked.

"A gathering of those strongest in the noble families and Rukongai, or simply those willing and able to serve. It is no group of servants answering to the noble families or following their every whim." Yamamoto went silent a moment. "It is a militia to guard them all from the Hollows that even now grow in number. A guard that stands apart from them in order to protect them."

Retsu considered what he said silently for a moment. "How do you want me to serve, Yamamoto-sama?" she asked. It was a good idea, at least in theory—even some in the noble clans had been injured and killed by hollows, and she knew it was worse in the Rukongai.

"The same as any of the others, fight when needed and protect when needed." Another one of those faint smiles. "And more importantly, teach some of the others when it is proper not to fight. You have a great deal of potential, Retsu, as well as a willingness to grow outside of your family. That is why I would choose you as a student, if you would accept."

She considered for what seemed like a long time—it would mean leaving her family, but that would have happened eventually anyway. And her brother believed Yamamoto was an honorable man; in Retsu's experience, Shin was a very good judge of character. Moreover, it was an incredible opportunity...she bowed deeply. "I would be honored, Yamamoto-sama," she said.

He nodded in what was almost a bow and seemed satisfied both with her pause and with her answer. "There are others you will meet soon." Yamamoto paused for a moment. "I think they would benefit from knowing you."

"I look forward to meeting them, sir, and to working with you." She took a deep breath, steadying herself mentally and reorienting. "What arrangements should be made?" She'd imagine that she'd have to travel to the Yamamoto estates, or some other place to work with him.

"I will speak further with your family and with you. This is a heavy decision to make and I will not take your answer lightly." He rose to his feet in a motion that was like the flicker of flame. "When you leave, it will be a very long time before you can return, Retsu. I would advise making your goodbyes while you can."

She bowed deeply to him. "I understand, Yamamoto-sama, and I will heed your advice," she said formally. "Thank you for the offer; you do great honor to both me and my family." She was excited and frightened all at once—to leave her twin behind. To go somewhere new so soon! She'd never expected it.

"It is not meant to be an honor, but a duty," Yamamoto said slowly. He paused to look over his shoulder at her, his gaze direct and measuring. "I would have chosen you if you were a dirty waif wandering Rukongai. It is your skill and potential which are valuable, not your family name."

She considered carefully before answering. She had not meant to give offense; only to give the appropriate response for the situation. "Is not all duty an honor, sir? A duty...a duty is only given if the one giving it believes that the one who receives it will be able to fulfill it. And all honor correspondingly comes with duty: the greater the honor, the greater the duty." Blushing, she realized that perhaps she was contradicting _Yamamoto-sama_, and looked down silently.

"To perform a duty is honorable, and it is honorable to perform a duty," Yamamoto said. "But there are far too many who confuse a single concept into two separate things and would place their honor above what they must do for the greater good. If you must bring honor with this, Retsu, do it remembering it and your duties are the same thing."

Again she considered what he said before she spoke. "I understand what you mean about the honor in the sense of the glory of one's family, sir. If you wish to create something beyond clans, it is necessary to forgo such rivalries. But...would it not be wrong to forgo one's own integrity, even for the sake of others?" she asked.

His mouth twitched in another hint of a smile. "That is why you will make a strong student, Retsu. Do not let anyone goad you into blindly accepting only what you see and hear." His robes rustled softly around him when he turned towards the door. "I will speak of this again with you soon." He left her and her unanswered question alone.

She frowned a little after he left, trying to work out the answer on her own, and trying it out in different situations. Finally, she stood up, a little stunned by the encounter. _Nii-san was right_, she thought. _He is an impressive person, not like anyone I've met before._ And she had agreed to become his student. She didn't even know what that meant, apparently, she would find out soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

After Yamamoto-sama had left, Retsu and her mother had started to make the necessary arrangements. She was to go to the Yamamoto estate for her training, and most of her things would be provided for here there. Presumably, Yamamoto-sama wanted no distinctions between his students, whatever their status. She was allowed only to bring a few items with her, certainly not more than a trunk's worth. A book of poetry her father had left her. A calligraphy set from her mother. A sheet of pressed flowers Shin had given her on her last birthday.

As she put the last few things in her trunk, Retsu sighed slightly. She knew her brother must have been hearing dozens of rumors. Her departure seemed to be the only thing the servants were gossiping about. She herself had heard more than a few rumors and whispered words about what had transpired in that room between her and Yamamoto, wild tales that included a marriage proposal or even adoption! Yet Shin hadn't pushed her for an explanation. She wondered if he were silencing or simply ignoring the rumors and waiting to hear the truth from her himself. Retsu appreciated her brother's discretion; she simply hadn't been able to tell him. But now everything else was done, and it was time. She went to look for him, finding him by the fountain where they'd splashed each other just a few days before.

Shin was waiting for her by the pond. He looked at her expectantly when she arrived, and Retsu felt keenly the unspoken bond between the two of them. For once, Retsu was afraid it might be stretched too thin, or even broken—and she saw the same uncertainty in her twin's eyes. After a moment, he got to his feet and gave her a smile that didn't quite warm his eyes. "I was wondering when I'd get to speak with you alone, Retsu," he said softly.

Retsu met his eyes and then dropped them to her hands. "I'm sorry I didn't seek you out sooner, Nii-san," she said quietly. "I…wasn't quite sure how to tell you." She looked away, watching the fish swim serenely through the cool pond for a few moments, and then drew in a deep breath. "Do you ever think that the noble clans waste too much time and energy fighting each other, and not enough defending their people?"

"Every day I must spend time trying to make peace with them!" Shin exclaimed. "I don't understand what this has to do with you leaving us!" Retsu heard the unspoken echo pass between them: Leaving _him_. "I've heard every possible variation of why—some are even saying you're to be wed to Yamamoto-sama!" he finished, half-shouting in unsettled distress.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, taken aback by his anger. Shin rarely raised his voice to anyone, let alone to her. She took a deep breath and continued, "Yamamoto-sama is trying to create an organization beyond clan—bringing people together to fight for the good of everyone. To defend against the hollows." It was supposed to be a clan duty, but everyone knew that the clans didn't really take care of it very well, too absorbed in their petty rivalries and quarrels.

"And you… are one of those people?" he asked, in a softer voice that barely hid how much he was rattled. Retsu understood: there were people they could rely on and other people they could trust, but so very few they could invest with _both_. She was such a person for her brother, as he was one for her. To lose that support, to be left with only advisors and sycophants…

Nonetheless, she answered quietly, "Yes. He wants me to come and study with him." She didn't want to leave her brother. He was one of the few people who really listened to her, and the only person in the world to whom she was truly close, whom she trusted. Yamamoto-sama had warned her that if she left with him, it would be some time before she came back. She would change, and so would Shin.

He stared at her a moment before letting loose a sharp breath she didn't know he'd been holding back. "Study with him? Yamamoto-sama wants you to study with him?" A startled laugh bubbled up out of his throat and he put both hands on Retsu's shoulders, as if to steady himself. He grinned at her in open relief. "I was honestly starting to worry! Yamamoto-sama is a fine man, no doubt, a _good_ man, but…You are my sister and I would be critical of any suitor that would come to woo you away. But a student! That is…That is a very different sort of honor, Retsu!"

"Yes, it is—a great honor," she said, her lips twitching slightly as she remembered the discussion—or whatever it was—she and Yamamoto-sama had had about honor. She looked in his eyes and laid her hand on his. "But, Nii-san…I'll be gone a long time. I'm to go to the Yamamoto estates, with the other students." She found herself with a lump in her throat as she thought about not seeing her brother, her twin for years at a time.

"I certainly understand that you'll be gone for a time, but…" he said, and then trailed off, narrowing his eyes in thought. "You… You mean a very long time, don't you?" he asked. At Retsu's nod, he dropped his hands and stared down at the pond. "I see. This is a formal goodbye, then, isn't it? Not just a simple little, 'don't worry your silly-head brother'?"

"Yes," she said softly. "A very long time. Years, perhaps." She looked deep into his eyes, almost pleading. "He…asked if I was satisfied with this life. If I wanted to make a difference. I…I want to go." _But I don't want to go without your blessing_ hung in the air between them.

"There is a world of difference you can make here, Retsu," he said. She almost flinched, although as soon as he said it, he looked as if he wished to take the words back. They both knew it wasn't true. If she were fortunate, she might have influence as someone's wife or daughter, but what would she be allowed to do under her own power or name? "But…perhaps a great deal more can be done away from here," he said at last, meeting her eyes.

It was Retsu's turn to look away, and for a moment, she couldn't bring herself to speak again. Finally, she said, "Shin…I don't want to leave you, but," she took a deep breath to steady herself. "Yamamoto-sama is right. I would do my duties without hesitation here, but…I want to do more, if I can. I believe I can if I become his student."

"That's why he chose you, isn't it?" he said with a soft, sad smile. "Because you want things to change and are willing to…go outside of the politics to change things." He reached into the pond and plucked a small water lily that had just begun to bloom, offering it to his sister. "I am trying to teach the koi how to swim and you will to teach them how to fly, once you learn how."

"And because I'm not…attached yet." Attached by marriage or politics to any one group or faction. She accepted the flower, silently relieved at his understanding. "But they have to be able to swim first, Nii-san. I don't believe I can teach them that," she said. Not as the second child, and a daughter. Had she been firstborn, things might have been different.

"Then… we shall make a pact, you and I," he said. "While you study with Yamamoto-sama to learn how to protect the clans from themselves, I will strive my utmost to teach them how to behave." He set the flower aside so he could clasp Retsu's hands. "I will teach them how to swim, and you will teach us what comes after."

"Then I will have to study hard, so I don't fall behind," she said with a slight smile. "After all, we're both students now—and I have no intention of letting you show me up, oh honored older brother." She grinned at him, but it wasn't without a hint of melancholy. After all, how much longer would she be able to banter with him like this? "I will write as often as I can," she said more softly. "I'll use our code." They had long ago come up with a code so they could speak to each other during official functions without being understood—and Retsu had few illusions that any mail either of them could send would be truly secure.

"And should you ever find yourself wishing for home, I shall regale you with stories of dinners and nobles and petty clan infighting in such excruciating detail that I'll never see you again," Shin promised. His smile was broader than his sister's, but Retsu knew without doubt that hers was more sincere.

"Naturally," she said, "you must tell me everything. I wouldn't want to miss a moment." Then her joking facade crumbled, and she was hugging him tightly, as she did when they were younger, and she was hurt or upset. Shin had always been there, through everything. She found herself crying softly into her brother's chest. "I will miss you, Shin-nii-san," she whispered softly. It was only in front of her brother that she could dare show such weakness: to be just Retsu, instead of Unohana Retsu. And she was crying as much for that loss as for anything else, because now she would go and become an adult, with an adult's mask. She could not afford to cry or be weak after this.

"And I will miss you, dear sister," he said, letting her soft tears leave dark spots on his robe without comment. The only person either of them could trust and rely upon, no matter what happened. She felt his mouth open as if to speak, as if to ask her to stay, but he shut it again. She was deeply grateful—she was not sure if her resolve were strong enough to withstand open pleading instead of sorrowful acceptance. And to do that would dishonor them both, and push them further apart from one another than distance or time could ever do.

Another minute of silence; then she pulled back, wiped the tears away and smiled at her brother. "If you don't tell anyone I cried, I won't tell anyone that you were behind the pepper in Omaeda-dono's soup." It was a strained attempt, but she didn't want her last memories of her brother before she left to be entirely sad—and she _was_ fairly sure he didn't know that she knew what he'd done to the insufferable head of clan a couple of years back.

Shin merely quirked an eyebrow in response. "Is that so? Well, with such sensitive and potentially deadly information being held over my head, what choice to I have, but to honor the request of a wily lady such as yourself?" he said, and bowed slightly. "We'll make a bargain of it, then."

"A bargain," she agreed, with a matching bow. Reluctantly, she turned, seeing a servant was coming out, no doubt to tell her that it was time to leave. "I will write as often as I can, I swear it," she promised, and then bowed formally. "Good-bye, nii-san." She blinked firmly as she felt tears prickling at her eyes again, but she refused to give in this time.

"Please take care, dear sister," Shin said softly. He turned away from her, kneeling next to the pond and staring out into the water. He would not watch her leave, as though he wanted his final memory to be of her smiling, the sound of her voice as she teased him, rather than the sight of her walking away from him.

Always," she said softly. She turned and walked away, her head held high, leaving the Retsu of her childhood behind at the pond with her brother. She walked to the servant and simply said, "I'm ready."

"Your lady mother would like to speak to you before you leave," Okada said.

"Very well," Retsu said. "Thank you, I will go to her now." She loved her mother, in a way, and she knew her mother loved her and her brother, but it had always been shown with duty and respect, rather than with affection. Retsu's hardest goodbye had already been said; this was a formal farewell and a chance to take care of a few formalities more than anything else.

Retsu made sure that no signs of her tears remained before knocking on the door and entering with a polite bow. "Mother," she said respectfully. Shiori Unohana sat in perfect seiza as Retsu entered. A faint breeze wafted through the open window, carrying with it the distant scent of flowers.

Retsu," she said softly in return. No titles or endearments, just the simple honesty of her daughter's name. Shiori sat still and serene like a flower in the center of a pond, no expression on her porcelain face—just that same calm stillness. "Have you prepared properly?" she asked.

"I have, Mother," Retsu said, trying to match her mother's calmness, though inside she felt anything but serene. Excited, apprehensive, confused, worried, hopeful: all whirled about inside her. Her mother still had a calmness about Retsu she could never match; her mother was an oak tree, while Retsu was still trying to get her roots firmly planted.

Shiori allowed herself a faint, sad smile. "I understand you have already said your goodbyes to your brother."

"Yes, I have." She still had a few doubts, but she believed this was the right path to take. She would miss her brother horribly, and she knew it. That didn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do, however. Her mother, after all, was the one who had told her that no great thing was ever gained without making a great sacrifice.

"Are you prepared to follow Yamamoto-sama's instructions, and to perform your duties as his student?" Gentle tone and asking gentle questions to which her mother must already know the answers; Retsu wouldn't leave on a whim or without every detail planned. Yet, perhaps it reassured her mother to hear it all one last time.

"I am prepared," she said resolutely. Then, she hesitated for a moment. "I must speak further, as one of the Unohana clan to its clan leader." She believed her mother knew, but it was right to say this anyway.

Shiori inclined her head slightly. "Then do so," she said, but there was a subtle hint of surprise in her eyes.

Retsu said, "Yamamoto-sama wishes to create an organization outside of the clans, for the good of all. In order to do this, he made it clear that his students are no longer to think first of their clan, but rather to think first of the good of the whole of Soul Society." She took a deep breath. "I must ask to be released from my oath of fealty to you." Retsu, like all clan nobles, was required to swear an oath of fealty to the clan head, promising to put the good of the _clan_ first.

"So you would turn your back on your family to pursue this?" Shiori asked. There was no accusation in her voice, just a calm tone, as though she were merely discussing the weather. "Was Yamamoto-sama's offer so grand that you would leave not only your family, but your oath behind as well? Is that how you would serve him?"

The accusation bit cruelly. Retsu's back stiffened slightly and her heart lurched. The oath was primarily a formality for the immediate heirs; she hadn't expected to be challenged. She opened her mouth with a quick, surprised answer, but then stopped herself. She had left behind her childhood to be an adult, hadn't she? She had to answer as one. She took a moment to collect herself, try and find her calm center. It wasn't easy, but she tried. "Yamamoto-sama would create an organization beyond clans, to fight the hollows and defend the weak for the good of all people, rather than simply for the good of one clan. Yet," she said, echoing his words to her, "such an organization is impossible if its members' loyalties are split."

"And you would leave your family behind in order to do this? If it is so separate from the other clans, why should it be any concern of this group to defend them?" she inquired, calm and dispassionate. "What is so important about protecting the other clans above your own? We work with and serve them well enough now, do we not?"

Again, Retsu paused to consider her words before she answered. "Mother…I do not wish to be disrespectful, either to your or to the clan. I know you have always tried to ensure that our people are safe, as did Father. Nonetheless, Hollow attacks are common in our lands, as well as in other clan lands. And a great part of the reason is that each clan must hold some of its funds and forces in reserve—both for its needs and for defense against other clans." She almost fidgeted with her hands, but made herself hold still. "I believe that Yamamoto-sama is right. There is no way to solve the problem within the clans."

Retsu thought—though she wasn't quite sure—that she saw a spark of approval on her mother's face at her moment of reflection. Nonetheless, she coolly asked, "And if I do not release you from your oath of fealty? What will you do, Retsu? Will you pursue Yamamoto-sama's dream of peace rather than remain with your own family?"

Retsu looked down to consider the dilemma. On one hand, she truly believed in Yamamoto-sama's ideas. On the other, she had sworn an oath. She remembered the conversation she had with Yamamoto-sama about honor and duty. It was a long time before she answered, and her voice was quiet but firm when she spoke. "I swore an oath to you, and to the clan," she said. "I will not violate it. Nonetheless, I hope that you will release me from it." She dared a glance up at her mother. "You have worked long and tirelessly for peace. Father fought for it. I believe I have a chance to help in that goal as well, a chance to help better under Yamamoto-sama's tutelage than I could here in the clan. Therefore, I petition for release from my oath."

Shiori rose from her seat and stood before her daughter. "You still persist," she said softly. She placed a hand on Retsu's head, the gentle touch of a mother reassuring a daughter. "I release you from your oath, from your fealty to this clan. You are forfeit of all but the clan name." It was a long moment before she moved. Shiori leaned down until she could whisper into Retsu's ear. "I am proud of you, daughter."

Retsu had dropped her head respectfully when her mother stood, and something in her chest eased when her mother agreed to release her. She was not expecting the praise, however—and such high praise. She inclined her head solemnly. "Thank you, Mother." It was something to carry with her, almost a sort of protection. "I will do my best to be worthy of your pride," she promised.

Shiori sat back down, robes rustling softly around her until she settled, still as a stone under water. "You are free to do as you wish, Retsu, to serve the clans however you see fit. I know whoever or whatever you swear fealty to, you will still carry the heart of our family with you." She inclined her head in the faint promise of a bow.

"Thank you," Retsu said again, and bowed respectfully in acknowledgement. "Good-bye, Mother. I do not know when I'll be able to visit, but I will write when I can." It was only polite, after all.

There were no cracks in that elegant mask of a face, no pause when Shiori spoke. "I will look forward to reading your letters, Retsu." No indication at all that she might be speaking to her daughter face to face for the last time. And although Retsu hoped and expected that she _would_ see her mother again, Retsu would not be the same person as she was now.

After bowing deeply, Retsu turned and left. Her good-byes were said now, and what needed to be packed had been packed. It was time to go. She closed the door behind her, and as she walked down the hallway, she didn't look back.


End file.
